Mr. T. Would Pity The Fool

I was out with some friends last night and came to a realization: EVERY PERSON SPORTING A "FAUXHAWK" SHOULD BE TAXED for lack of ANY personal originality.

For those of you that don't know what one is, (as I didn't last night) here is the definition from Wikipedia:

The fauxhawk (or faux-hawk) hairstyle is an approximation of a mohawk, made without shaving or buzzing the hair on the sides of the head, allowing an imitation of the look of a true mohawk without having to commit to removing most of one's hair. Here is a pic from cropshop.com

They should also add that wearing one is a public indicator that you lack any sense of personal style or originality. Does everyone think they look like David Beckham? I don't think so. If you look back, the mohawk has evolved from Native American tribes to the famed punk tall, spike mohawk and then the Mr. T. look. This variation proves that we have lost any of our creativity. Anyone wearing one is a spineless amoeba. The point of sporting one (from punk times to now) had been to send a symbolic middle finger to the world and display your rebellion against society. What statement does the current fauxhawk variation make? None. Just on precedent, why would you want to wear a hairstyle worn by every other person in the same location as you? Whether it is a bar, restaurant or store, this hairstyle serves as a visual "moron indicator" for the rest of society. To me, it looks like the head of a messed up cockatoo - but maybe that's just me.

Don't get me wrong. I get it. You want to be stylish and trendy. You want to look good and woo the women that you encounter. I am not unsympathetic. That being said, "you never get a second chance to make a first impression" (to quote a famous commercial) and if you are sporting a fauxhawk your first impression is "I'm a mindless automaton that just copies what everyone else is doing. Dude - you're not even CUTTING YOUR HAIR OFF. You're just pretending to. Poser! You missed the entire point of the exercise.

Remember when your mom asked you if you would jump off a bridge if everyone else was doing it? These people would be looking for the end of the line so they could stand in it.

I think I've said all I have to say on this matter.

10 Media Things I'm Embarrassed To Admit That I Like

Since I started with a Top 5 list during the previous post, I've decided to include one more "list inspired" post. As I was watching TV tonight and grinding my teeth while thinking about my crappy day at work, I caught something that I felt stupid for liking. That led to this post. So, without further ado, here are the Top 10 media things I am embarrassed to admit I like:

1. Reality TV - No matter what I do, I always catch myself watching it. One time when I was sick, I think I caught myself watching a BRAVO marathon. YEEACH!
   
2. Mac vs. PC commercials - I can't tell you why. I own a PC. I just bought another PC when my old one died on me. The commercials are lame, predictable and not even funny any more, yet I find myself staring at the television as if we had landed on Mars and it was being broadcast.
3. Since we're on the topic of commercials - That "freeeeeeee credit, report dot com..." commercial with the guys singing a catchy jingle while in pirate suits or driving a hoopty.
4. Stupid, potty-humor, "youth get into trouble" movies like "American Pie, National Lampoons, Harold & Kumar, Superbad, Porky's", etc. If they include gratuitous nudity like the older movies, it gets a pre-teen two thumbs up from me! They just make me laugh.
5. BBC America - I must have been a Briton in my former life. From BBC News to Coupling to That Mitchel & Webb and Little Briton, I seem to be obsessed with it. I think I watched too many episodes of Whose Line Is It Anyway when cable 1st became available to me...
6. Viral Videos - I spend way too much time looking at stuff on You Tube, Break and other video sites.
7. Documentaries and/or movies about third world countries. I don't know why. Maybe because I've never been there.
8. The Tabloids - It seems every time I go to the deli to get a sandwich, someone has moved the date of The Apocalypse back a few months...
9. Anything with Asian Chicks...no comment...
10. Un-PC Correct 80s movies - The Jerk, Coming To America, Soul Man, Porky's, Revenge of the Nerds, etc (you get the point). There is something funny about making fun of our differences and I don't see anything wrong with it in this context. You couldn't film movies like this today without having a protest in front of the studio.

Well, that's my 10. Feel free to post yours...

Tave

What Music Makes You Feel?

It's been a crazy week at work. One of those weeks where it seems like your head is going to explode if you don' t spend a moment to decompress. I was thinking of how I decompress when I'm not going for a drive or vegging out in front of the TV and came to the topic of music. I am not talented in any possible way when it comes to music, but put a good song on and I'll shout the lyrics out to the top of my lungs. My friend Betty kept mentioning that she'd like to have some sort of music appreciation night where people can check out each other's music. That gave me this idea. Here's my challenge to you -what are 5-10 songs that come to mind for memorable lyrics or music? It can be powerful lyrics, the music or the way the lyrics are sung. Maybe they make you think, or smile or even tear. What do you play on the MP3 player when you are feeling down or when you want to celebrate? What about when you're feeling angry? List the artist,song and the lyric (if there is a specific one).

Here are the choices off the top of my head:

1. Nine Inch Nails- Head Like A Hole -"...bow down before the one you serve, you're going to get what you deserve..."[duh! when I'm angry]
2. Peter Gabriel- I have to note that I can put in ANY classic Gabriel song when I'm feeling in any mood and relate. While the classics are the best (Solsbury Hill, In Your Eyes, Don't Give Up, etc.), something more obscure comes to mind. - Love To Be Loved-"... and in this moment, I need to be needed. With this darkness all around me, I like to be liked. In this emptiness and fear, I want to be wanted. "Cause I love to be loved, I love to be loved..." If it sounds intriguing, Google the lyrics and download the MP3.
3. NIN (again)- Hurt-"I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel...."
   
4. Goo Goo Dolls -Iris - "...you bleed just to know you're alive..."
   
5. Meatloaf -Paradise By The Dashboard Light -"...so now I'm praying for the end of time so I can end my time with you..."
   

Here are 5 I like for the feel of the music or the powerful vocals or instrumental:

1. Clint Mansell- The Theme from Requiem From A Dream (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2Ma4BvMUwU&feature=related)
2. Billy Joel- Prelude/The Angry Young Man
3. Lisa Gerrard - Now We Are Free -The Theme From Gladiator (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XS9REY1H0pY) Proof that you don't have to understand a language to get the meaning of the song.
4. Queen - Freddie singing " Who Wants To Live Forever"
5. A Tie---Whitesnake (...yeah, I know)-Sailing Ships AND Van Halen (Sammy)-Walkin' In

OK, I'm not overly proud of my list, but I could be here for hours to pick the absolute best songs and never be done. These came to mind. Good music, good times. There's nothing better than jukebox night at the bar with friends.

Feel free to post your mood songs. Off the top of your head. No login name needed to sign in, just make sure you type your name in the box so I know who you are.

See you at the jukebox.

China, You Make Us Look Good!

At a time in history when the average 15 - 30 year old has ADD and can't focus on any news story lasting longer than the 30 second sound bite, I want to thank China on behalf of all Americans. China, you make us look good!

Let's face it, even though we have been waging a war in Iraq (and Afghanistan) for over 5 years, the American public has gotten bored of the constant news coverage of the war and the ever rising body count. Even when our president is replaced in the upcoming November election, reality is that we won't see significant troop reductions overnight. Every night, Americans are given updates on the "surge" in Iraq. These "surge" status reports are supposed to give us that warm and fuzzy feeling in our stomach so we can feel like the country is safe and all is right with the world. For months, the news has orbited around the "surge" and presidential candidates. That's it. Nothing else.

Enter China.

Since the Olympic torch arrived in Beijing in April, there has been tons of controversy. The world hates that the capitalist, controlling American pig has entered the Arab world, but it really LOVES and underdog fighting for independence. Who is right in the Tibet conflict can be debated for hours. Some say China began their occupation of Tibet in 1950 and the first conflict was 1959 when American arms were shipped to Tibet to help resist the Chinese. Others say Tibet has been part of China for over 700 years and even Buddhism migrated to Tibet from China proper. Either way, one thing is certain: the Western world loves the David and Goliath story of Tibet vs. China so much that the war in Iraq has become the equivalent of what Britney ate for breakfast.

Ironically, the 2008 Olympic Torch Relay is called the "Journey of Harmony." It won't end until 8-08-08, yet in recent weeks, has been the source of many protests and controversy and anything but harmonious. Already there is talk of people from athletes to politicians boycotting the Olympic Games because of China's treatment of Tibet and it's numerous civil rights violations. In Paris, a protester even tried to rip the torch out of a runner's hand during the relay. The news the other night had a sound bite that stated "torch under protection." I understand the symbolism involved here, but I didn't know the torch required a secret service detail.

It's a torch people, not a person! Yes, it symbolizes the Olympics, harmony, coming together, blah, blah, blah, zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Who even watched the last Olympic Games? The only time I caught any of it was in the hours between 2 and 5 am when I was trying to go to sleep. Maybe part of the hype is the media and NBC hyping it up for profits. Besides, what's the point of building a shiny new stadium and putting on a show if no one watches? The best thing that ever happened to pageants was that dumb blond from SC answering that map question with such a dumb answer last year (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww). I'm sure the Miss USA pageant picked up some viewers who wanted to know what dumb pageant girls would do next. NBC needs to build an audience for their Olympic coverage where an audience hasn't existed in quite some time. The last important Olympic competitions I remember were in the 80s. I haven't seen commercials for some of the movies opening this month, yet NBC is already posting "8-08-08 Olympics on NBC" tags at the bottom of some of their show credits.

What was the point of this? Oh yeah. Surge bad. Elections good. China bully. Free Tibet. Screw this torch nonsense.

Oh yeah, and as far as helping our public image:
Thank You China.

Your Life Is On My Space

The internet is a great tool. It allows people like me to express the countless thoughts flying through my head in an open forum that may (or may not) be read by unknown readers. It allows us to communicate with others miles away in different states and countries without having to make a phone call. It allows us to get to know people who we would otherwise not meet in our lifetimes. That being said, I wanted to discuss the idea of My Space.

I live in NY. When the media found out that our governor was paying $4000+ a pop for hooker sessions, they naturally wanted to know more about the special woman,. Did they hire a detective like in countless movies or pay for an extensive background check of the woman? Nope! They checked her My Space page and posted it on the evening news.

Yep. The average person has decided (in their infinite wisdom) to post their entire lives on a public page that can be seen worldwide. Stalkers must love being able to view new pictures on their victims and find out what happened today from their blogs (or video logs). More recently, there were reports of kids beating up other kids because of comments posted about each other on My Space.

I have always been amazed at how quickly people at work offer their My Space names to new employees walking through the door. "Hi, I'm Bob, I don't even know if I like you, but you can get to know what a jerk I am if you check out my My Space page!" Why would you do this? Maybe it's a sign of age or just a different way of thinking, but I don't want everyone knowing my personal business. I have several reasons for trying to live a simple, (relatively) honest life, but here are my top 5 reason for not having a My Space page:

1. People instinctively judge you based on the people you associate with. Do you want others to see the dozens of mooks (dictionary.com people) who decided to add you as a friend even though you just met them? What does that say about you?
2. Keeping track of lies is difficult. I have trouble remembering what I did yesterday, let alone who I told a lie to...
3. In the time of identity theft, why would you want ANYONE to know where you work, went to school, relationship status and even (I saw a few of these today) your address and cell phone number?
4. I would hate to be associated with anyone who types things with alternating caps (i.e. "i'M sOoOo kOoL, ArEn'T i????"). This is a personal pet peeve of mine.
5. Everyone is doing it.

Let's be real. Since the internet, we barely talk to each other. Conversations are relegated to texts and emails. We have opted out of significant one on one human connections and instead have chosen multiple electronic connections with people we barely know, only know online or really don't even want to know but are keeping around like a candles in case of a power outage. With all it's advantages and benefits, the internet has actually made us more distant from each other while connecting us socially across larger physical distances. The average person may now know hundreds of people and not know any of them personally since My Space allows only the illusion of familiarity. I may know your favorite artist, pictures of your family, fiancee and who your friends are, but not know if you are trustworthy, charismatic or have any sort of integrity. I won't learn anything about your ethics, or morality but I know you like shopping at Old Navy and work at the supermarket.

Something just seems wrong with that, doesn't it?

I Was Lied To As A Child...

When I was younger, I remember reading books and seeing movies that stated that by the year 2000, we'd be flying in George Jetson cars and robots would be living among us. Trips to the moon and other planets for vacation were to be common and were even going to colonize another world. Pictures of future clothing showed streamlined, plastic looking one piece suits. Movies like a "A Clockwork Orange" showed us a dark future with milk bars and futuristic cars. "Blade Runner" showed us genetically engineered "replicants" that humans would use on other planets and other movies taught us that we would have machines that made any meal we wanted for us. Money would be unnecessary since all purchases would be made in "credits." Your personal credit number would be obtained either from a chip type of card you carried on you or extracted by scanning the barcode and/or chip that had been implanted into every citizen.

Whoa! We are so far off. What happened? How could I have been so deceived?

Some of the technology is there. We have robots, they just cost a fortune. EZ Passes and Speed Passes allow us to pay for items with a wave of our chip encoded key chains at the gas station. Pets are "chipped" with a GPS device so we can find them if they wander. We may not have replicants, but artificial intelligence technology has advanced greatly and scientists have been cloning animals for years. The military has been using hover crafts for years, but we've never evolved to anti-gravity cars or skateboards.

As I watched a documentary about our planned trips to the moon and Mars in the next twenty years, I thought about all the other advances we had been promised and had not been granted. I guess the funding never happened or the general public lost it's romance with futuristic cars once it received portable phones that fit in their pockets without a battery the size of a brick. Has the internet, the ability to download movies and music, cell phones and having so much information at your immediate disposal made us focus on immediate gratification and made us forget the goals we used to dream about as a civilization?

Is there a new dream or have we just replaced it with a egocentric lifestyle and thrown the common goal out the window? Maybe it's just difficult for the average person to dream about living on Mars when our country is at war on several fronts, the economy is in turmoil, people are trying to keep their houses and our children are still scoring below average on school subjects when compared to several other countries. Besides, when you are living paycheck to paycheck, how can you even think of voting for politicians that want to fund space projects that will cost billions of dollars and have a direct impact on the life of you and your loved ones?

I don't know the answer, but I do think that we need to learn how to dream again.

Anyway, that's what I was thinking...

Over 21 & Under 70

I have a simple routine to psych myself up for a day of work. Once I get in the car, I look for a a good song and it usually puts me in a good mood for a day of work. I tend to do the same thing on the way home to decompress from a rough day. Today I got into my car to a great song. On the way to work, I must have heard at least 4 songs I knew and loved. Since my drive to work is only 15 minutes, that's a lot. When I pulled into the parking lot at work I wondered what station I had been listening to. It was great! I looked over at the radio to identify the source of my bliss.

It was the oldies station.

When did that happen? When did the great songs I grew up with and still hear in my local bars become "oldies?" A few weeks ago, I was at a bar (oddly enough) and a smoking hot woman came up to me and commented on the song that my friends and I were singing along with the juke box. She joined in, finished an entire verse and the chorus of the song and then told me how great that song was. This was one of those great moments you get in life where you make a connection with a total stranger over a song you feel passionate about. I was enjoying the moment all the way until she said "I love the 80's and all those oldies."

Someone pass me my walking cane please...

I know, I know. I need to be realistic. I'm hitting my mid 30s and these things happen. But isn't it odd that everyone prepares you for puberty, the college years, your first job, marriage and the golden age but neglects the time in between. I'm sorry, but I don't remember any movie (off the top of my head) about these years that doesn't revolve around divorce, baby mama drama or any Lifetime network subject. Where are the "coming of middle age" movies that don't have a protagonist with a thousand regrets or make it seem like a disease. Where are the movies of good friends, good conversation, good music and an overall good feeling. I'm not saying I'm happy go lucky everyday, but I'm definitely more than just content with the way life is. Maybe my friends and I are just an anomaly. The new step in evolution. Communal relationships without significant drama. Relationships that revolve around good times and plenty of laughter. Laughing at everything about life and ourselves - even those subjects which make us uncomfortable. Having people you can just sit in a room with and not say a word. I think I need to make a movie about that for the next group of thirty somethings (what are we, generation X?Y?2.0? Who knows?).

Until then, put some Journey on that juke box and get me a drink...

15 Minutes Of Fame

I'm single. I say that first because it usually brings this stereotype of an empty apartment, dust on the TV, an empty refrigerator and no groceries in the cabinets. Most meals come from take out or are eaten out and if I buy more than a pint of milk it curdles.

I guess I match the stereotype perfectly.

That being said, not in a million years would I invite a camera crew to come into my apartment and broadcast my life to a world audience on TV and maybe even the internet. Yesterday I watched a show on BBC called "How Clean Is Your House?" In case you haven't seen it, here's the summary:
Some nasty family (yep, they are RARELY single) calls a TV crew to come into their house and clean it up. As a result, the world gets to see that you piss and crap on your bathroom walls and have fungus growing in the corners of your kitchen. Who in their right mind would ever visit these people EVER AGAIN?
To me, this is worse than the "clutter hounds" who have their clutter purged and organized for them on TV . Worse than the cesspool of subjects that have made the "Jerry Springer Show" popular for so many years. More recently, contestants on the TV game show "The Moment of Truth" have been willing to air all their dirty laundry and risk all of their personal relationships (including marriage) for a chance at money. At least this motivation I can comprehend. I can see how the desire to have more money and better your life situation may be a seductive reward that some may think is worth risking relationships. Besides, if they love you they'll understand...right?
The others don't receive any monetary reward. They just get their 15 minutes of fame (22 minutes to be exact since the program runs a half hour). Is the need to make that mark on the world so great that people don't mind how they make it?
I'm almost offended at what a person is willing to do to have their thoughts known and their ideas heard.
And yet, I'm writing a blog. Has it been 15 minutes yet?