Thirty 5

It was a rough week. My dad had a medical procedure this week, work has been annoying and there's this "moment". This was the moment I had been dreading for the past few weeks. It shouldn't be significant, but mentally the numbers gather significance as time passes. As of 1:25 A.M. June 16th, I turned 35. Ouch! Just thinking about it hurts. For those of you that don't know me, the birthday blues has been a problem of mine during socially significant years 18,21,31 and now 35. I guess at each stage I just take a deeper look in the mirror.

I sure somewhere there's a guy who just turned 35 and is looking back and hating his life. That's not me. Are there things I'd like to change, sure. The point of life is to continuously try to improve your situation -whether it's professionally or socially. On the weekend of my birthday I just feel happy, loved and yes, a bit drunk. :) I look at my dad who just turned 75 and has no friends and barely any family. Weird for someone who had 12 other siblings. He's spent a large part of his life distrusting everyone he's met and is always thinking someone is out to get him.

On my weekend, I spent time with my close friends and family, talked or emailed those who couldn't be around, laughed at funny cards (both email & paper -even musical), ate a home cooked meal and consumed more whiskey, rum and Mike's Hard Lemonade than is probably recommended at my age! Basically I enjoyed every minute of it.

I wish I could list what I've learned thus far and all that crap, but what's the point? We all have to learn the lessons for ourselves. I will say that you should enjoy every change that was for the better and spend time getting to know yourself. At 18, I was quick to rage. I could feel my blood boil. At 35, I hate to admit that I'm more emotional and sometimes even seem to wear my heart on my sleeve. I used to laugh at one of my friends because he would get emotional at the end of many movies. I mean like Monsters and Shrek. You know what, I've realized that if you're at the point in life where you can't feel, or get emotional over something stupid or just have a good ol' Tony Soprano moment when you scan the room appreciating all of your friends and family, then you've missed part of the point of this whole experience.

The best advice I can give is my favorite quote from Wulf Zendik:

"The Moment is your big chance-grab it-it will not come again. The moment is unique, unlike any that preceded, unlike any that follows. Revel in its pleasures and peer deeply into its pain-underst​and the why of pain-it is an effect. Its cause is a lethargy in Living. The lethargy of waiting-wait​ing a moment more deserving of attention. That is Life passing you by while you wait...Whate​ver you do-do it totally-
Do it Now..."​

- Wulf Zendik