Prince Charming Is Dead

I finally watched Knocked Up last night and thought it was a good movie. My reasons are probably different than you think. I liked the movie because no one was perfect. The main character is an overgrown kid who is just living a simple life. The chick that gets pregnant is frequently a judgmental character and the married couple that is related to her is all messed up.

Basically, sorry kids - THERE IS NO HERO!

More and more we watch movies and read books with imperfect heroes. Remakes of classic goody-goody heroes like Superman give him flaws and the older Batman gets, the more we see of his darker side. I thought Tim Burton had shown us a dark side of Bruce Wayne until I saw Christian Bale take on the part. We are constantly reminded in every aspect of the media that priests molest, fathers rape, teachers screw their students & children beat other children to a pulp. Everything in society points out the frail, imperfect nature of humanity and the duality of the human persona. There seems to be nothing uncommon about little Johnny "popping a cap in your ass" and running home to feed his aging grandma.

If this is the case, then why is everyday Jane always looking for Prince Charming?

There is a fairy tale that's been told longer than any fable by Aesop. It's called the story of the "perfect man." Regardless of all the media coverage and movies and documentation on the subject, women still search for perfection. Sorry ladies, keep looking.

I think it's time to accept that every human being is flawed and in life you just need to decide how much crap you can take. There is nothing wrong with a guy being chivalrous, or opening doors and pulling out chairs for you at the dinner table. However, accept that the person you're dating is not a "fix me upper." They are simply who they are and that is that. There are days when you'll have the door opened for you, and other days when we may be preoccupied and forget. Being single, I gave up looking for "Ms. Perfect" a long time ago. I realized (and was constantly reminded by my hitched friends) that life and relationships are about compromise. While I accept this premise, I refuse to accept compromising on who you are as a person. I've seen lots of ads for single "independent women" only to continue reading and find that independent means nothing more than having a job. These women are still looking for Prince Charming and will marry the closest person as a "compromise" in spite of the fact that the relationship will end in divorce in less than five years.

Ladies- the Prince Charming of the new millennium works long hours at a job he sometimes loves but otherwise hates. If he's not spending time with you today, it's because this fast paced life we all lead has him in need of some simple, silly male activity (like poker or fantasy baseball) that reinforces camaraderie and gives him a few hours to escape from life. You need to not take it so personally because life simply "gets in the way."

A friend of mine said something to me a few weeks ago that stuck in my head. He had re-joined the dating world and found it disappointing. He remarked how easy it world be if everyone just "put all their relationship shit on the table" and let the cards fall where they may. At least then there wouldn't be any awkward issues coming up later in the relationship.

Simplistic? Maybe. The idea that the minutia of relationships can be ironed out by being perfectly honest sounds naive, I know. But I think it depends on where you are in your life. If you can't be honest with yourself and what angers, bothers or pleases you, how can you be honest with anyone else? There is no point in me staying in a relationship when you are more concerned with how I make you feel and what I do for you than with just getting to really know me.

But hey, what do I know. I'm single. All I know is there is no Prince Charming. There is no perfect woman. There is no hero. And by the way, there is no Santa Claus either.

:)