Advice From Those Older Than You?

It's been a rough couple of months. Without giving myself a sympathy party, I haven't felt the best physically or mentally in the last few months and having sick family close to you makes the mental part even more taxing.

That being said (I hate that phrase), I live a good life. Some would say a blessed life. I still have both my parents and a 97+ year old grandmother, a job, and a group of friends that have my back.

I bring this up because I was unintentionally given a verbal slap on the head to bring me back into perspective. I walked into an old friend from my block yesterday. He is only a few years younger than me, but always seemed like a younger kid on the block and always seemed to be being mentored by someone around my age. A few years ago, I found out his mom had passed away. Later, that he got married, had a kid and still came to visit his old dad periodically. Still seemed like a good kid.

Yesterday as I went to enter my house, I saw him and as we went through the usual "how have you been, how's the family " and other pleasantries, I saw an odd look on his face and got the feeling there was something he wanted to say. Suddenly it all came out...almost with a sob, yet he held back.

He had been fine, "considering"...wait, had he seen me since... did I know that his dad and wife had both died?

I was stunned. What do you say to that? I expressed my condolences and checked on the health of his son(?) while I eased into asking him what had happened. Apparently his father had passed away of septic shock and his wife had had an anurism. Both passed away within a year of each other. As I searched for the words to say, I saw his face. He had the look. The look of someone looking for guidance, for a word or two of wisdom from someone older that they have known since childhood.

I had none to give.

What do you tell someone younger than you who has literally lost his whole family? What consolation can you possibly offer? It put my recent issues in perspective.

As he walked away, I felt I was looking for as many words of wisdom as he was - he just needed them now.