Auld Lang Syne

New Year's eve is again upon us and most of us take a few minutes to reflect on the changes in the past year. This particular New Year happens to also be the end of the first decade of a new millennium, so probably more reflection is required, but I'll just jot down a few things that went though my head at the time I started writing this.

First, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that not much has changed with my job. The next great American novel still eludes me like a gazelle to a lion. However, considering how many times I'm reminded that those of us that have jobs are lucky, I won't complain. There is always next year.

My 98 year old grandmother is still adding enjoyment to my life and both parents are in good health.

I am surrounded by a great group of friends who accept me as I am and aren't afraid to tell me off when I need a reality check. The type of friends that ask you if you are ok after you fall down stairs and then start laughing hysterically when you tell them that you are not hurt.

It has been a year of changes in the lives of those around me. Friends moving in together, running (and not running) for office, basements remodeled, moving cross country, several went M.I.A. for a time being and others were found again through Facebook (in spite of my reluctance). Bars every night and movies at the house with take out have given way to less frequent poker nights and dinner at new restaurants to catch up.

A friend mentioned that sometimes you don't notice how much time has lapsed until you see the change in friends' children. You blink and kids that were two are on the way to eight. The documentation to prove this is a plethora of digital evidence across numerous states and cameras.

That being said, I have learned a lot this year about myself and about (and from) those around me and I look forward to what is coming in 2010.

Happy New Year!

A Moment

Yesterday I received a real hug. You know what I mean. No, not the hug you give to your wife before she leaves for the day or the one you give your kids when they head off to school. More like the powerful hug that can only be amplified by emotions like fear or utter bliss. Fear of losing someone, or happiness that that you haven't lost someone.

Let me explain. My 98 year old grandmother went into the hospital the other night because she wasn't feeling well...again. This is not a rare occurrence since she has had a few episodes in the past year or so and every time she goes into the hospital they find nothing. Who knows what the body does at 98 years. Even the doctors seem to be perplexed. However, after a few days of "observation" she is released with new medication.

For 98 years old, my grandmother is in great shape. She still walks to the bus and goes out shopping for hours. She acts like a woman half her age and has the spirit to match. I am convinced that this is the key to her longevity.

The other night when I visited her at the hospital I gave her a hug when I entered the room. It's this hug that I want to mention here, because I'm realizing in life that we need to enjoy and embrace every moment that causes us raw emotion.

The hug was simple. A full, arms around each other hug where I could feel the warmth of her body and felt that I could feel her life essence grabbing me and reciprocating the emotion I was conveying. This is the hug that I would imagine you parents give to your kids after they almost get hit by a car crossing the street or after they show up after being "missing" for a period of time. A hug of relief. A hug full of love beyond description. Almost the same as the hug you give someone that you are glad to see after a a long absence, but without the fear of loss. In short, the type of hug that reminds you how fragile we all are.

If you're smiling right now then there is nothing else I need to write to explain myself...

L'chaim!

I'm sitting at the local diner and I notice the group of "kids" (probably 18-20 year olds) at the next table. 9 of them. Their conversation is lighthearted - movies, a recent book, a new program or song they downloaded.
I look at the breakdown and it seems familiar: the cute hottie,the nerdy girl,the sexier brunette,and the in-between girl. The guys are even easier to categorize: the hipster with the BoSox cap,the prep,the cool tattoo dude,the nerdy prep and the awkward casual guy.
Was it that long ago that that was us? I could assign one of my friend's names to each one of these nameless kids. Saturday night...movie night or was dinner the event of the evening? Are they catching up or is this a weekly thing?

They talk about cult favorites like Fight Club, Ghostbusters and others that were new box office releases to me at that age. It's fun to watch. Not only to reminisce but also because at this age I can see and read the signs of social awkwardness - the gaps in conversation, the look around the table to see if it's the right time to start a new thread of conversation. The look around the room to see who is watching you and the loud, "would be obnoxious if they weren't young" laugh that provides much needed validation for the teller of the story or joke.

I smile as I remember good times and also remember the great times I've had with friends recently.

Life is good.

Why I Hate "Stay-Cations"

Many years ago when I was a young(er) lad I made a conscious decision to alter the path I was on. It seemed that the path I had been put on involved a lot of items that didn't make me happy and sometimes made me downright miserable. I decided to focus more on the people in my life. People that cared about what I thought and felt and thought the same way about me. People that to me were real: they laughed, cried, yelled and sometimes cursed their maker when they didn't understand a situation. I decided that you can't truly love anyone if you don't love yourself and basically decided to just try to be a better person.

Anyone that knows me knows that my mind is constantly on the go. I'm always thinking of the next step, another permutation to a problem or a witty retort to the last comment you made. It is usually only when I'm on vacation that my mind is able to shut down after 2 days of drinks, sand and interesting conversation. This is primarily the reason that I aim for a beach and water every chance I get. This one time, I was unable to get enough people interested in a quick trip, so I opted for the ever popular, seldom satisfying stay-cation.

I am not a stranger to stay-cations. I took several when I used to work at my previous job. They all ended up the same way: with me in some mental funk after barely leaving the house in a week -not because I couldn't have plans, but because I get myself in a funk and start choosing to stay home instead of socializing. Add to this the 24 hour overdrive cycle that my mind enters. I will think about everything from humanity's beginnings to why that pain in the ass friend of mine can never make time to hang out. This is dangerous for me because in essence, I'll just chase my proverbial tail with no chance of ever catching it until I simply reset by passing out from exhaustion.

It's now been 2 days into this stay-cation and I have done nothing different than on an average day off - maybe even less. I have, however, done lots of thinking. Not always a good thing. While trying to plan a trip I'm taking next year to New Orleans, I started realizing how quickly the time has passed. I must own thousands of pictures of friends 8 years ago meeting 3 times a week at a local bar just catch up and have a good time. Now a night out involves a day off in between and lots of planning. I have often tried to remind my friends that there are only "X" amount of years, events and trips left before life gets in the way. Before plans involve the wife and/or kids, before you can't go because your spouse hates your friends or before the mortgage has to take priority over fun. At these times I'm looked at like I'd assume any prophet of days past foretelling the end of the world - with disbelief.

Fast forward 8 years. Life gets in the way.

I get it. Priorities shift and life happens. The days of gathering the gang and going on a romp across Europe may be mostly over. Sometimes you go weeks without seeing people that live five minutes from your house. Last night a friend pointed out to me that he thought we were older now than some of the teachers we had in high school. Are we "middle aged?" One friend says no, another avoids the question. A third will say that he's younger than me so he doesn't count. Another will say that age is just a number in your head. My 98 year old grandmother is proof of that. But if age is just a number in your head, how did my aging body pick up on it?

What's the point of this? I don't exactly know. Since this blog is primarily for my own sanity and most of my friends get a verbal version of most of these topics when we meet over dinner or drinks, I'd assume that what I'm really trying to do is maintain a record for myself. To record as much as I can so that when I review these moments in my head I don't chase my tail, but find that this is just life and the one thing I do well is adapt.

Wait, I did do something today, I wrote this post.

thoughts...

In a digital age where everything moves fast the simple human has adapted by "becoming" what it is not. Emails and texts have replaced calls the way the telephone once replaced letters. The trade off is we've become addicted to the technology. The slave of man has made man it's slave. Given man's propensity towards taking the easy way out, Skynet doesn't seem like such a far fetched idea.

Living With Dad: Episode III

Today I tried explaining to my dad that the honey jar that's been in my cabinet has not spoiled. "Son, everything on this earth spoils and decomposes" he said in his "Mighty and Powerful Oz" voice. When I mentioned that I had just seen a documentary on the wonders of bees, he gave me that smug "you really don't know what you're talking about" look.

Does this dynamic ever change? Somehow it seems there is no possible way that in my lifetime I may have accumulated any accurate information on any topic that we discuss.

On another subject, for those of you that don't know, my dad and grandmother have been taking turns going to the hospital lately so the past two weeks have not been fun. In all of this, somehow I got a half-prop for picking the doctor that sent dad to a hospital that treated him like a king. If he could have moved in voluntarily he probably would have. Ok, maybe that's going too far, but he did love the way he was treated and felt confident that he was being cared for properly.

Lately it just seems like before I make weekend plans I call all the family elders to see how they're feeling this weekend.

Insert your "that's life" comment here...

Living With Dad: Part Deux

My dad continues to consistently surprise me with little "dad-isms." The relationship hasn't changed much except that he is constantly trying to feed me as if I needed any more food in my overextended stomach. Last week, I was closing a Ziploc bag and unconsciously closed it in parts (squeeze the strips together in 3 steps - first part, second, etc). I should have known what was coming next because I saw him make an odd facial expression and aim in in my direction.

"You know, you actually close the bag by joining one end and sliding it closed across to the other end."

"Dad, I know how to close the bag. It's sealed, right?"

He has also decided to rebel against any adult that seems to tell him what to do. It took me weeks to get him to agree to a medical plan. Today, he doesn't like his doctor. He wants a new guy. Apparently the doctor's office sent him to take the same exam twice. A careless mistake. But the minute you realize that it is the same exam you already took, wouldn't you say something? He is usually opinionated about EVERYTHING but he one time he needed to speak up he chose silence so he could come home and be a martyr. Then he pouted like a 5 year old when I told him he should have spoken up and that it was his own fault.

Dad has also upgraded his "watching people through the window" skills with a new "scare the crap out of his son when he gets home" skill.

I will usually get home and the start changing clothes to get comfortable. Dad will wait until I think I'm alone and pop out of nowhere with a loud "HI, HOW WAS WORK" while simultaneously scaring the crap out me as he pops out of another room like the old, fat Batman in The Dark Night Returns.

The best part has to be his child-like enjoyment of WWE wrestling. He loves it. Watches it every chance he gets. One little problem - he thinks that it is real.

No, really - he does.

I once tried explaining the "heel" and "hero" thing, how many "characters" go back and forth and other stuff I had read about Vince McMahon (who is a pretty smart marketing genius). The conversation quickly turned into how this character was not friends with that one and so on. I explained that these guys work out together and they help train the newbies...blah, blah, blah. I may as well have spoken Chinese because I was instead told that he hates all the dramatic parts and that they should just wrestle...then went on to a 10 minute story about how one wrestler married this girl and so on.

What can I do? He's over 70 - there's nothing I can force him understand anymore. I'll just let him enjoy this fantasy.

Let's get ready to rumble....

Birthday Blues

So for the last 4 hours I've been trying to figure out what to write.

When I got home from work today after unsuccessfully trying to avoid the staff spy network "surprising" me with a birthday cake, I went to pick up my mail off the floor and instead found a letter from Bridget Jordan, the manager of the post office in my neighborhood. Apparently, some idiot across the street has been allowing Cujo to roam unattended and has managed to not only take down the local mail man, but also the only back up. As a result, I am supposed to physically go to the post office and pick up my mail until this matter is "resolved with the dog owner."

The letter reeks of "please go vigilante justice all over Cujo," but I also wondered that if they were able to drop off the note in my mail slot today, why didn't they at least drop off today's mail for me?

If you ask my closest friends you'll find out that I am sometimes the worst around my birthday. I get grumpy, introspective and mentally chase my tail around thoughts and problems that have no solution. That's just how my brain works.

So after a grumpy day at work and 5 hours of listening to what is now considered "oldies" music, I have mellowed out and completed most of my reflecting. Let it be noted that I had Green Day's Good Riddance -Time of your Life on repeat for half an hour...

See, I'm a practical person, so I get it. I have great friends and my immediate family is still around to nag me at my every turn. How many don't have those 2 basic things?

I'm lucky to have a great family and a great set of friends that cook and bake for my birthday then get hammered at the bar in my honor. I'm blessed to feel that at any given moment, they have "my back."

Thanks guys.
Cheers!

sensitivity and drama vs tolerance

I hope this doesn't offend some friends. I was at a bar waiting on a friend and I started typing on my phone. I typed the entire stream of thought and every link in my though chain. This is raw, uncut, unedited and merely what was going through my head at the moment.


sensitivity and drama vs tolerance. life is learning that quality is more important than quantity and the friends you have now, as dysfunctional as they may be will probably be more solid and reliable than people you have less history with.

the fact that people don't realize this is a symptom of our 'grass is always greener' mentality. What no one realizes is that all grass grows weeds. Some just grow more of them.

i feel those that sit there panicking about their lives are stuck in a lie. I'm an atheist yet I'm lost without a god? People's parents mess them up yet I haven't resolved my issues with mine-alive or gone. Why not state that you re agnostic confused and lost in the world just like everyone else. Then you can start at step one.

we've been taught that it is our 'manifest destiny' to be better. We are meant for greater than this,no?

We re told we are.

Yet we settle.

Even the most successful have a 'hole' of emptiness where something missing. The human condition? Maybe. Doesn't seem Darwinian to give a creature the power of a mind-not a brain- a non tangible mind that will always doubt and ask for more. Let's not even factor in the possibility of a soul. Is this the 'god' quotient? A lion in the African bush doesn't wonder if there is 'more out there' than hunting. Why not? Why would a human evolve to the point of "mind"ly (new word?) consciousness? It serves no purpose except to cause doubt pain and confusion.

Does that make human consciousness a genetic defect? An anomaly? An unexpected detrimental effect of evolution?

Living With Dad Part 1: Life's Little Game Of Role Reversal

For the past few months, my dad has been living with me. It seems he's the only retiree who leaves Florida to return to NY for his golden years. If you know my dad, you know that it fits his backwards personality. During the past few months, I've been real careful not to fall into old roles. Without being too overbearing, I've made sure that we both understand that he is to feel comfortable in my house while at the same time knowing that we are in my house and not vice versa like when I was a child. So far, so good. Only once was there an altercation and we worked through that really well.

It's weird when you notice your dad's quirks after being an adult. I already knew he was paranoid, a conspiracy theorist and frequently displayed anti-social behavior, but now I notice the smaller things. I lived with a room mate for years and have also traveled with friends. Frequently I've shared more impersonal toiletries such as soap, toothpaste - but my own father brings his own. Weird. Maybe he doesn't want to impose on my supplies? He does that kind of thing. I have to constantly remind him he doesn't have to ask my permission to drink iced tea from the pitcher in the fridge.

Today he spent a bit of time people watching. But not casual, "spy-like" watching. All out, "let me put my entire body in the open window and stare" watching. The type that you would think was creepy if you didn't know him.

I constantly find myself feeling like I'd assume a parent does while watching their child marvel over something new. In my father's case, the new things could be a video on You Tube or the speed at which I find some info he needs on Google. Earlier in the year, I took my 97 year old grandmother, my mother and father all to the supermarket so they wouldn't have to trek home on foot with the groceries. The entire time can be compared to a parent going to the supermarket with 3 toddlers: items being picked up to be bought, questions about "what's this?",a whole lot of wandering followed by me rounding up the seniors and attempting to corral them around my shopping cart, in short - an adventure.

One of my mid-life friends reminds me that this is the new status quo. This is what happens in life. The parent and child swap roles. It still makes me wonder what quirks I'll notice next. What other roles will swap? I'm not sure how long he's staying with me, but for the time being, I'm curious what will happen next.

Tonight I came home and found him laughing on the couch watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Who would have seen that coming?

Human Indifference And The Status Quo

Today I read about 2 stories that made me think about the way we humans are self centered. We really can't help it. It's a survival instinct. The brain makes you focus on only your issues in the hopes that it will extend your existence. It's the social conscience (in the form of schools, parents, religion and any other communal entity) that actually steers you away from yourself and tells you that you should share and think of others.

So what has happened that has turned off that social consciousness?

Let me explain - I read today that a woman was raped in the subway and the subway clerk and onlookers did nothing. The rapist was apparently so secure of humanity's indifference that he raped her numerous times in spite of an arriving train pulling into the station. To make matters worse, the victim has tried to take the MTA to court since the MTA employees did nothing and a judge has decided that they "had no obligation to do anything to help her other than to signal their superiors that police were needed at the station" (ARTICLE HERE)

I get that the subway employees only have to press the emergency button and not put their lives in danger or make matters worse, but c'mon...really? Pretend you're going to beat the rapist up. Or at least yell "I called the cops, you better leave her alone." Something...ANYTHING...that says "I give a damn."

Fast forward to today. Some guy jumped off the 3rd floor of the Queens Center Mall and landed on a kid. The kid that was landed on survived and the jumper died instantly. Now, I'm, not a shrink, but I've heard that many people try to commit suicide as a "cry for help." If this poor sap's goal was to have one of the hundreds of shoppers stop him from jumping then he grossly miscalculated his target (no pun intended) audience.

Shoulda, coulda, woulda - nothing can change the past. It should probably also be noted that this is nothing new since there have always been stories of people getting run over and shot in a crowd and no one stepping forward as a witness. Instinctively, we care only about our own asses. That's why we always teach children to break the natural human program and do what's considered socially responsible.

The part that bothers me is that through centuries of evolution, we seem to have still not been able to master this simple lesson. It's sad that people are more likely to help a hurt animal on the side of the road than a fellow human being. Maybe part of it is disbelief ("is that REALLY happening?), or fear but either way, it's society as a whole that suffers.

World's Animals Give Up: Mass Suicide Begins

On February 10th, the coast guard in the Philippines captured a photo of 200-300 disoriented dolphins drifting towards the coast in what would have resulted in a mass dolphin "self-beaching" event like no other (read original NatGeo article here).
There is speculation that high levels of mercury and/or toxins spread by man are disorienting the dolphins and causing them to beach themselves. Or maybe they've just had enough. We've seen this somewhere before...with the bees.

Large quantities of bees have been disappearing for years now (check out nature episode here). Colony collapse disorder or CCD is the name given to the event where bees in several countries are just disappearing and leaving no trace to help us figure out a reason. Food and larvae have been found in many of the hives -but no dead bodies. Speculation includes pesticide and toxins damaging the bees' navigation system (and making them unable to find their hive after going out for pollen) and sickness caused by mites.

Maybe it's because I just finished watching "The Happening," but it almost seems like the earth's creatures have started losing their will to live. If the survival instinct is gone, what's next? The idea of bees and dolphins committing the animal kingdom's equivalent of Seppuku is probably the gloomiest thought to ever go through my head. Have we forced nature to give up on us by treating the world like crap for hundreds of years? Is nature trying to give itself a clean slate and start over?

With all the hoopla about the world ending in 2012, it makes you wonder...

14 Gold Medals And A Bong Hit

Michael Phelps. What can I say that hasn't been said by all the commentators this weekend? In case you live in a box, this week a picture of American Hero Phelps having a bong hit appeared in a British tabloid (News of The World article here). It seems the world can't believe that Phelps had a bong hit. Uh - this is the same guy who was caught drunk driving at 19 years old. Why is anyone surprised? I just think of comedian Jo Koy's piece on Michael Phelps and how he's Superman in the pool and Forrest Gump when he takes his swimming cap off (check video here.)

What is it about heroes that makes fans believe that they are perfect? If there is one thing that we are taught in stories and the news it's that heroes are human. They have faults and skeletons in the closet. Those faults are what make their conquests so special. Overcoming faults and obstacles make the triumphs taste better.

As far as Phelps screwing up his endorsements and such, hey, he's 23 -he's stupid. 23 year-olds think about sex, partying and eating, The fact that Phelps was only caught messing up one previous time is a freak of nature.

Besides, lets face it. We've all seen the articles and interviews. Outside of the pool, the guy is a bit of a dweeb. The fact that chicks finally dig him and everyone wants to know him was too much pressure for poor Mike. A source even describes him as "holding court" when he goes out to bars. More power to him.

Bottom line? Does anyone really care? Women dig a bad boy more than a jock. The Olympic Committee has made it clear that since the puffs took place after the games and he has admitted responsibility, they are sure he will be a better role model in the future. His fans (over 50%) forgive him and the media will remember when we get closer to the next Olympic games, but does that really matter? He may lose some endorsements, but how many millions does one man really need?

Gold Found At JFK

If you're ever at JFK flying American out to Las Vegas, take a walk to the Burger King upstairs by the gates (past the security check point).

Last May I flew to Vegas with a friend of mine for a weekend in Sin City. While we were waiting for the flight, we decided to get a bite to eat at Burger King. The line was huge and you could tell that their "A" team wasn't working this shift. Even a simple order like a Whopper seemed to take an average of 15 minutes and then it sometimes went to the wrong customer who was so happy he got any food at all that he just ate whatever he was given.

It was in this food service chaos that we saw the sign. A bright, shiny gold sign prominently displayed at the top right of the french fry machine. In clear, bold black letters it read "GOLD MINE."

We both burst out in laughter.

I've dealt with customer service and company profits for most of my employed life, so I get the significance of the machine, but the idea of the story behind how this sign came to be placed on this machine left too many possibilities in my mind.

I could see the franchise owner informing his less than friendly employees that they all had to add on the french fries to every order. "Ask every customer if they want fries" he would say. When he made the schedule and informed each employee where they would be working the following would have transpired:

Employee: "So I am fryer today?"
Owner: "No, you're working the gold mine."
Employee: "Yeah, de french fries."
Owner: "No. It is the gold mine and you will refer to it as such."
Employee: "Ok. I work fry."

The owner would then have gone out of his way to re-write all the new hire paperwork, manuals, etc. so that they all said "gold mine." Then a great idea would have come to him - a gold plaque proudly stating "GOLD MINE" so that every employee from this point forward would know the monetary importance of this machine and the product it cooks.

I didn't hear them ask ONE person if they wanted to add fries with their single burgers.

Some gold mine...

Time For Men To Say "I Told You So"

Since the creation of mead, men have been telling women that sex is better after a few drinks. Now we have scientific proof!

Researchers in Australia (article here)have discovered that drinkers report 30 percent fewer problems during sex. For you ladies making that "pfft" sound, just think - that means 30% more of you are satisfied. That's 30 % less whiskey...uh..."droop" they called it.

Main reason? If you ask me, after a few drinks, who cares about all the mental over thinking that guys do. Constantly planning scenarios in our head. After a few drinks, it's just "showtime."

Now if only they could work on an antidote for beer goggles...

Social Networking Redux

Last April I wrote a post on how everyone at work was putting all their info on My Space (original post).

Since then I have agreed to assist a friend of mine in a project he's undertaken. To make a long story short and not really disclose his business, he asked me to make a Facebook page to support his endeavor.

Insert GRUMBLE here.

I'll fall in line and take one for the team, but I feel like a hypocrite. It's not that I don't wonder what people from my past look like or what some people have been doing...well, maybe it is.

You see, the internet has this incredible ability to assist us in keeping people we know in contact forever - like luggage. Sometimes that is a good thing. I was interested to see what some classmates from grammar school were doing and it is always interesting to connect to people who you already know. But isn't this why I have a web site, email and a blog? If you really give a crap about me don't you already have my contact info?

Maybe it sounds a little callus. I'm reminded of when everyone first got AIM and everyone wondered how many friends you had. Is that what this is? Who does Tave know - and who do they know? Is this some version of six degrees of separation where the goal is to click on your friend's, friends and see if you have friends in common or do most people simply want to peer into other people's lives as a point of conversation?

I am by no means afraid of the internet. As I write this, I can think of at least 3 off color pictures of me posted online. I also know what I've written here is rarely politically correct. So it's not that I'm afraid of people finding out stuff about me. Instead, I think I just don't want to share stuff with people I don't care about - just like I don't "break bread" with people I don't like.

It's bad enough I have to check 4 email addresses to check email, now I also need to periodically check my Facebook?

I need someone to invent software for a portal that allows me to just log in to one spot and see all my emails and connections without having to log in twenty times.

Someone get me Bill Gates.

Ever Wish You Could Shut Off Your Brain?

"...I...have be-come...comfortably numb..."

Grow Up Already!

It is mankind's instinct to try to better itself and protect itself from harm. Years ago we began vaccinations for babies and we were able to eliminate the pox and other viruses. We also instinctively always want more. We vaccinate everyone to the point that viruses and diseases find a way to mutate into something stronger and resistant to antibiotics. We put hormones in our milk for decades and you can't tell me that after years of the dairy lobbyists telling us to "drink milk" they aren't the reason that 13 year old kids have a size 15 shoe size. What possible genetic improvement could this have been if not pushed by human intervention?

It's also no secret that kids have a shorter childhood. Kids are spending less time playing with toys and in the land of make believe. Too soon they are exposed to violence and sex. Kids are dressing like adults. Twelve year old boys pretending they are pimps. Thirteen year old girls wearing pants that say "juicy" on their rear. Seriously - I saw this on my lunch hour. What are they thinking? What are the parents thinking? Didn't seeing that Jon Benet Ramsey pic where she's dressed up like a whore disturb anyone else? This is what happens when we allow schools and television to raise the next generation.

You need a license to fish, but they allow any moron to have a child.

"It's The End Of The World As We Know It, And I Feel..."

With the New Year around the corner, we started to see video footage of Israel bombing Gaza. Horrific stories of rockets being propelled into Israel and the right of a nation to defend itself were repeated on every channel.

BBC reported today that a bomb killed at least 35 Shia pilgrims on Sunday. Tamil Tiger rebels in Sri Lanka killed 53 soldiers. Suicide bomber attack outside a college in Pakistan.

Does it seem like things are getting better?

I'm a realist. I get it. This is the way of the world and has always been the way of the world. Man defaults to violence to resolve issues. It has always been our way - it's in our programming. A caveman disagrees with you, you club him with your bone and the argument is resolved. In it's most beautiful, simplistic form, nature is just making sure the fittest survive.

That being said, the ways of men have complicated this exponentially. You see, unfortunately I am also an idealist. this is the part where you are going to start disagreeing with me.

I believe that every country has a right to exist and have the right to protect (preemtively if necessary) its citizens. By this idea, Israel has a right not only to exist, but to protect its people from harm. At the same time, I believe the Palestinians deserve a place to call home. Ah, quite the conundrum. Every great religion looks to Jerusalem as the spot of something holy. How do you split up prime real estate when everyone wants the same spot?

My gut tells me to evacuate the location and bomb the "Holy Land" back to the ice age. If there is nothing there, man can't fight over it. If you want, do the same in Iraq, Kashmir, Sri Lanka and parts of Africa. Only when man loses what he wants will he understand the value of what he had.

I know. It sounds savage. Also, it could create thousands of new holy warriors against the bombing country. Give me another option. Clear heads clearly do not prevail in these areas. There is no global morality. Success in these regions is directly attributed to cash up front to all the right people. All I know is that we can't continue like this. Eventually everything will explode. As a country, we are overextended. We can't police the world at this time in history. Our soldiers are in Iraq, Afghanistan and in locations all over the world to prevent a direct attack on home soil.

Someone else needs to stand up and play "Robocop." We need to take care of our own for a little while.